Saturday, April 4, 2020

Stark Girl clickbait

An actress from Captain America was arrested for stabbing her mother to death:
The actress is Mollie Fitzgerald, and she appeared in the movie as "Stark Girl."  She said the stabbing was done in self-defense:
Mollie Maxine Fitzgerald, who appeared as “Stark Girl” in 2011’s Captain America: The First Avenger, claimed that her mother tried to kill her during a call to 911 to report the stabbing.
Now let's be real.  Mollie the (alleged) Murderer had no lines in the film, and she appeared on-screen for about 10 seconds.  She barely had a role.  Putting the words "'Captain America' Actress" in your headline is clickbaity as fuck.  Here's the scene in question; she appears at the 1:30 mark:

Imagine trying to convey that information to someone in real life:
Person 1:  Hey, did you hear?  The actress from Captain America was arrested for murder! 
Person 2:  Oh no!  Hayley Atwell was arrested? 
Person 1:  No, I'm talking about a different actress from the movie. 
Person 2:  Oh.  Was it that girl who kissed Steve Rogers and made Peggy jealous?  Who was that, again? 
Person 1:  Natalie Dormer.  And no, it wasn't her. 
Person 2:  Oh.  Was it the actress who played Captain America's mother? 
Person 1:  What?  No!  Steve's mother wasn't in the movie!  Are you stupid?! 
Person 2:  Geez, sorry.  Um...Was it the nurse who spoke to Steve after he came out of his coma at the end of the movie? 
Person 1:  No, it wasn't her. 
Person 2:  Okay, I give up.  Who was it? 
Person 1:  It was the actress who played Stark Girl. 
Person 2:  Who??? 
Person 1:  Stark Girl, stupid!  {Smashes a vase over Person 2's head.}
By the way, do you think Bucky got laid after that expo?

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